A History Poem

Why is science so very, very hard?
I’d rather eat a great big tub of lard!
Questions of math and science,
require the use of an appliance.
An abacus, a calculator, my fingers, and toes;
all of these things are a history major’s foes!
A library, a computer, and a JSTOR or two;
all of them together give me a clue!
Research, discussion, writing, and editing;
just make sure you give proper crediting!
This poem is lame, and the reason is clear,
to make fun of English majors and at them I’ll jeer.
They write papers full of very pretty prose,
what they are talking about nobody knows.
Ramble and shamble and on they drone
about things in stories that could make you moan!
Why did Ophelia do this or that?
Did Hamlet go crazy like a bat?


my future is in the past,
but with the others I’ll contrast:
Similarities among the three really isn’t a mystery
(Science, English, and History),
Each require lots of effort, work and studies,
But give me my past and my weird history buddies!


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