I don’t know where this came from or who wrote it originally. If you know, please let me know so I can give proper credit. I found this in the first school I taught at in (of all places) the bathroom. But they are true statements. If we can be proactive as teachers in these areas and answer them before they arise, most misbehavior in classrooms will simply disappear.
Setting: 5th period Contemporary Issues class. Students are talking about how good my classroom smells with the candle wax burner.
Student #1: That smells like cinnamon rolls
Student #2: That smells like something a woman would buy. I bet your wife bought that for ya.
Me: If they sold it, I’d buy woodshop candle wax.
Student #1: Oh yeaaaah. That would be awesome. Like walking into Home Depot or something.
Me: Yeah, nothing would be better than woodshop candle wax and bacon candle wax.
Student #2: Yeah, well I bet your wife still bought it for you.
Me: Nope, I bought it. It’s apple and cinnamon. My wife and I don’t really agree on most of our candle scents. I like stuff like this and she likes…woman stuff.
Student #2: Well, yeah…she *is* a woman.
Student #1: So you and your wife have no ‘common scents?’
Me: haha…I see what ya did there. No, I guess we have no common scents
Student #3: Why does it always smell like feet in here?
Me: Because I collect the toe jam from my feet and combine it with gelatin and create candle wax with it.
Student #2: Gross.
Me: Yeah, cause I’m totally serious about that.
I LOVE snarky, sarcastic alternative high school students
I have found that there are times in the classroom where you have to use a video clip to truly express yourself to students. This way they get the full cinematic effect of what they have just done or said and the impact it made on you.
Here for your viewing and saving pleasure are the clips I have saved:
Language warning (minor vulgarity):